A great warm-up or beginner route. Located just to the right of The Mongrel.

Die Easy

Man Hands

Maggy Needs New Shoes

Lonesome Dove

Diving for Rocks

She's No Dog   She's My Wife

Lick the Window

Cuttin' Cards for a Poke

Over Easy

Mister Blister

The Mongrel

Black Slabbath

It's A Wiggle Butt

ACK!

Butt Scratch

Rock Dog

Bird Dog

Snowtards

Short People

Angel of Poets

Seismic Step

Hollywood

Luminaire Noir

Nose Print on the Windshield

Hoover Head

Magster

Just For Fun

Undertow

Slimy Crack aka Icecubes, Popcorn and Popsicles

Torpedoes Away

Captain Morgan

Matter of Honor

Dogtailing

Roo Dog

Hoovering

This is the longest "established" route on Seismic Wall, and it is a traverse. Because it crosses several popular lines and uses their hardware, be considerate of others and only do this route when you find this section of the wall empty. I originally listed the route as 5.8 as it is in the local guidebook, but that's a little confusing because the start is the crux and that start is also the crux of a 5.9 line. No, there's not a huge difference in those grades, but it's still a little confusing. The route has a PG rating because of the second clip and the easy runout between the third and fourth clips. The route: clip the first two bolts of the Mongrel (don't use the skinny tree if you want the 5.8 or 5.9) and then traverse left and clip Hollywood's second bolt. Traverse left and then climb Roo Dog's third and fourth bolts; climb to the anchors and clip the left anchor. Head up and left and clip Butt Scratch's left anchor. Finally, go up and left again and clip the anchors of It's a Wiggle Butt, and lower. Those anchors are easily distinguished because they are the highest on the wall.The crux is the start. The climbing on Roo Dog is 5.7/5.8, and all the rest is easy and fun.

Tricky climbing on enjoyable rock of various features.  A shame it's so short.  Called "Man Hands" because the route varies dramatically depending on finger size at the top of the route.  For some women, the route is 5.10.  For myself, however, and anyone else with man hands, it's tougher because we're unable to cram our digits into the small crack at the top.

Top rope variation from the anchors for Slimy Crack.  Slimy Crack is slimy because it used to house an enormous beehive.  Now all that is left is the beeswax funk due to... "Colony Collapse Disorder".

The crux is getting from the 2nd to 3rd bolt. The "easiest" way to do it is probably to lunge, but it can be done static as well. I reccommend doing it both ways for the full effect! After the crux, it is easier, but you still gotta hang on. Some of the rock up top can be a bit dusty.

Solid climbing right from the start.  Stick clip the first bolt to avoid the nasty fall into the bushes.  Crux comes above the first bolt as you make a powerful move off a small right foot.  Pull some jugs to the third bolt, then find an interesting move over the bulge before finishing on a short slab to the anchor.

Crux is low with a very fun move below the first bolt.  Fun climbing to the anchors after crux.

Hardest part is the end when hands get smaller and the the feet have to come over onto the fin

On the right hand side of the big roof. Work your way  up the low angle face to a big prow on the side of the roof and pull up into the honeycomb holds, then  work right along a crack to the chains. The direct start is 9+/10a and the right start maintains 5.9. Awesome route. The overhang moves are not hard, but can be scary if this is your limit.

Awkward beached whaling/ mantling/ off routing or something required to pull over the bulge.  Also, as soon as this thing gets traffic and becomes polished, it will be much harder

Stout start made trickier thanks to a tree. Don't cheat! Use good feet and less than ideal hands to reach the second bolt and pull over a buldge. One more bolt on good but polished holds takes you to the chains.

More polished limestone...  Again, popular with beginners. More interesting than some of the other routes adjacent to this one

Contrived start due to the proximity of the moderate dihedral to the left.  Fun pulling above that, however, on crimps and pockets past 4 total bolts.

More polished climbing on uneventful terrain, also popular with beginners

Mantling onto the first ledge is a tough boulder problem... heel hooking, good footwork with the non-hooking foot, etc. all required to roll up onto this thing

Fun climbing on polished limestone.  Difficult to get off the ground, but beyond that not too much challenge.  Perhaps getting up to clip the anchors is the hardest section (assuming you clip with hands -above- the anchors) 

  Some fun TR variations exist as well, climbing left and over the bulge to the ledge below the anchors

Sometime by summer 2019, the huge tree at the right end of Seismic fell, and its absence cleared the start of an entirely different line about a yard or so right of Black Slabbath. So on July 19 I led Black Slabbath and set some directionals to facilitate TRing this "new" route.

 On September 22, I went back and led it trad. Because the placements were sketchy and there were fewer than I thought there'd be, I will not describe them or recommend gear. Basically, I led it trad just in case I really did do the FA and someone came along and said it didn't count because it was on TR.

 To anchor, I crossed over to the Black Slabbath anchors and placed a cam and a hex along the way to protect that short, easy traverse. While I have used that rock before for directionals and have rapped off such placements, that time I found that the rock there has gone from questionable to terrible, and I even trundled some large pieces. However, there is still okay rock if you look for it.

 If there is a party on BS, you will need to go up into the brush to find solid trees for anchors; the rock around the topout is not sufficient for building a safe anchor. You can TR this off the BS anchors, but a fall will mean a big swing left, possibly crashing into a climber or rope on Die Easy just  left of BS. So basically don't climb this route unless DE and BS are unoccupied or you are willing and equipped to lead the route and then crash through brush.

 My 5.6 is based on not using the fallen tree to start and on pulling onto the ledge just above where the anchors likely would be were this a sport route. Otherwise, this is maybe 5.4.

 As to the name-- there has been a recent fervor in the Austin climbing community to rename "offensive" route names. My name for the route is a poke in their collective woke eyes. And for the record, I am not a Trump voter; I just can't stand the woke/PC people.

 It will take you less time to climb this route than it took you to read about it! Enjoy!

Tricky techniques on this short but fun route. Per the Austin climbing guidebook: "This route will make you think."  I interpret this as: "This is not 5.9", but I never really have figured out the best way to get up this thing...

Thin moves below the first bolt are the crux.  Move through some jugs and you're at the anchors.

Crux is down low, getting on the route.  Share holds with ACK! and then it's smooth sailing to the top.  Pretty hard bottom moves for a 5.8...

Great warm up climb. It starts between Roo Dog and Die Easy. Apparently used to be labeled as Rick's Way(?).

Tricky face climbing down low and some more enjoyable stuff up high.  Longest climb on the left end of the wall. Painful crux holds originally had this route named "Lick the Paw"  :)

Short but packing a punch, "Nose Print" is a powerful route that rarely sees any traffic.  Avoid using the crack to the right of the route or it makes it .11a

Crux is the last move before anchors (and the moves above the anchors). Smooth crimps, then over a bulge, a few more moves to the top. Crack at the left is probably off-route, and far from bolts anyway. The last bolt is right below the anchors, skip on lead and set up a TR through it if you want.

Crux is between second and third bolt where you have to commit to a small sidepull.  Above this, move though ledges and jugs to the anchors

Just For Fun is a fun and varied line that traverses as much to the left as it does ascend vertically. Anchors near the prickly pear at the end of a short roof. Rare limestone hand jams are useful when working out the roof to get to the jugs to clip the chains.Rock Dog can be TR'ed from the anchors for this route. "Direct" also has one old bolt in it, about 20 feet up, left over from the first ascent by Tom Suhler and Bruce Becker.

An extension of Cutting Cards for a Poke, 5.12a, which is and extension of Diving for Rocks 5.10d.  Climb cutting Cards and top out.  Fun time to do a big victory whip.

This is the route immediately to the right of Diving for Rocks and is easily distinguished by wide-ish (fist), flaring crack.  This crack is the crux of this route - always greasy, it's tough to get your mitts to stick in this thing.   

  The top rope above this route is 12a, Lonesome Dove.

Tricky beta right off the ground makes for an enjoyable puzzle of a route. A fun 5.9 once you've figured out the sequence.   

  Another super polished, bouldery start with -EASY- climbing above. It's fun regardless, and it also provides convenient access to the ledge where anchors for both "Angels and Poets" and "Matter of Honor" can be accessed so you can get ready for your headpoint of these two spicy leads by practicing on top rope  :)

Different style of climbing than most of this wall... watch out for the prickly pear cactus at the top of the route during a few traversing moves!  Some tricky moves down low before the first bolt as well.

Bouldery start below first bolt.  Move through jugs over a bulge and you're at the anchors

Super polished climbing on less than vertical rock. Great for beginners.

A Top Rope route rightof Hoover Head. First Lead Hoover Head, anchor in...then set up TR on anchors to the right. They are set 5' to the right of Hoover Head.

A nice wall with sport routes from 5.6 to 5.12a. Probably about 30 routes total. Faces East. Most of the routes are well shaded by trees.

Description

Protection

Routes in Seismic Wall A.K.A. Maggie's Wall